[Sample] Letter to Estranged Daughter 

 

Reuniting with your daughter after being cut off may be a very traumatic experience. 

If you're feeling defensive or emotionally unprepared to connect with her healthily, you should see a therapist who can help you gain perspective. 

If she agrees to communicate with you, doing so may not only help you better your mental health but may also raise your chances of being able to connect with her in a more emotionally secure way.

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Below is the Sample Letter To Estranged Daughter as just an example. 

Sample letter to estranged daughter 

Dated: 

Dear Daughter,

I haven't heard your voice on the phone in almost three years, and I haven't heard your voice on the other side of your front door in nearly two years. A little, terrified murmur that, while I recognised as yours, didn't sound like you at all. 

I sat on your doorway for nearly three hours in the rain, hoping we might communicate, even if it was just through the door; I hoped you would come to the station to find me before I returned. I also heard the grandson I had never met through the door.

I found out he existed when a great friend while speaking with a common acquaintance, discovered they had received a Christmas card two years ago that included an image of my grandson - a lovely newborn boy.

It came as a shock to learn that I am a grandmother via her, and it came as an even bigger shock when I saw the photo of that lovely boy and saw how much he resembled my father, who died when I was seven. 

You see, you may choose to disavow your ancestry, but you will never be able to do so. Such things are constantly present in our lives. In the next years, you will discover all of these small indicators that are so firmly buried within us.

I had a feeling you were sliding away, but couldn't put my finger on it. It was also something over which I had no control. You were an "adult" in legal terms. When you truly love someone, you have no choice but to let them do anything they want, even though you instinctively know what they're doing is hurting them.

What I don't understand is how two people who had always been so close could suddenly become so unlike in every way. I travelled a long distance to see you, hold you, and tell you how much I love you and will always love you; to meet my grandson, and to experience a tiny portion of your pleasure as your son was welcomed into the world.

I've told you many times that the happiest time of my life was when you were a youngster. What a delight it is to be present for your discoveries and proud triumphs; what a blessing it is to share those moments of growth in every way. I'm hoping it's the great happiness you're experiencing as a mother.

You've never replied to any of my letters, cards, emails, phone calls, or texts, which we used to exchange merrily. Finally, you appear to have encouraged your husband to contact me 18 months ago, thereby barring any further contact. I've obliged with the request, albeit with considerable apprehension.

After two and a half years of "normal" regular interaction at a highly significant level, there was nothing but a wall of silence until that dreadful point.

You seem to feel that you don't need to explain or justify your actions, perhaps not to me, but to eone else in the future. If such strict standards exist, it appears to me that you would rather feel "right" and suffer than "wrong" and rejoice, owing to your pride, which has been taught and fed in you by whatever "therapy" you have received. What a waste of time and effort for everyone involved.

The prospect of hope exists at all times. That has been a constant in my life. There is no such thing as a perfect family, and I am certainly not one of them. We do our best in every scenario.

There is always the possibility of hope. That is one certainty I have maintained throughout my life. There is no such thing as a typical family; I am not flawless. In whatever situations we find ourselves in, we do our best. How could your generation ever completely comprehend how drastically different marriage dynamics were in those days? Whether we like it or not, we are all children of our time.

Whatever everything may change, true love remains constant... I'll see you later! 

— Unknown.

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